Journal Series: 1

05/11/2025

So I have landed in Paris, I have been here for about two weeks. The novelty that I now live in Paris has not worn off, not like my savings with an atrocious exchange rate. I spend my days walking, exploring new streets and new eats, desperately trying to blend into the crowd. Speaking in bogan French and ordering the same as the tables next to me, or meals I have seen on Rick Steins’ French Odyssey. I am reminded of the words my friend Tom once said, you will never belong to another culture no matter how hard you try to change your spots.

My life, and I am sure anyone’s life, has been about trying to belong to a group or a cause. Whether that has been a rugby club, the schoolyard, community, or work environment. I have tried to belong. As humans we strive to be a part of a community. I believe you really only gain that connection when you add value to the environment. Whether it be through leadership, teamwork, kindness or jocularity. Reflecting on my communities and people I surround myself with, these are the traits that I have identified with, endeavouring to find those connections. Quite successfully I might add.

Here, in Paris, I am trying to find that same feeling. So I signed up to a rugby club, a sport I have been playing for over 20 years, a familiar environment. A rugby club could be written as a Billy Joel ballad, there’s the same people, humor, smells, mannerisms and innate behaviour at every club you go to. It is a place I feel at home at. Here in Paris, I am The Foreigner, I speak the basics of the language, and wish subtitles existed in life. But I have yet to know the groups, the “big dogs” so to speak and the culture. But I know my physical capabilities, so I crack on, let my game do the talking. It provides a brief moment of comfort that I hold my own. Happiness and belonging that is quickly removed when the coach barks orders and I have no idea what he said. I am back to being The Foreigner. Perhaps a session at the pub can bring me closer into that inner sanctum.

Then there is finding a job, a ballache. Endless iterations summating my working life, and justifying my capabilities to perform a role. I feel it is the rejection that is the most deflating part. A sense of selfworthlessness. My greatest hindrance is the language, obviously, but get me in for an interview, or a trial, and let me display my worth ethic and ability. I have to remind myself to be patient. That it may take a few months, with some casual work in between, to build my language skills up and continue to put myself out there. That is the continual thought that I believe works for any situation in life, and has continued to place me in roles that have allowed me to succeed, keep putting yourself out there. Sticking my head over the parapet with my key values, leadership, teamwork, kindness and humor. My value will be identified, and although I will remain a foreigner, I will find belonging.